Bonding Expert Gifts

Father and son with matching beer crates.

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Networking

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

D.I.Y with dad.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

I've always been slower than computers...

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

Model Building

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

50 Year Celebrations.

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"This bond is so boring we gave it a Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z rating."

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Just tell us who's winning."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?

"All parents fight."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."