Bomber Crew Gifts

"I'm having doubts about our new bombardier. I think he only joined up to p*ss off his parents."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Local News in Heaven

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Hollywood producer.

Airport

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

True Story Movie

Sub Editor

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Graffiti Forever!

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

Two reporters interview each other.

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"Who wants to go first?"

People of Courage

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."