Bodybuilding Fanatic Gifts

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Muscles

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Powerful Love.

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

The rock caricature

"We're exclusively delts."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

Gym Dog

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.