Body Shape Philosopher Gifts

"Dude, time to hit the gym!"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Guy in gym

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Hey, great ab!"

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

"I liked the scale better before we leveled the floor. It read ten pounds lighter on a slant."

What the numbers are telling us

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

"I was going to mow the lawn, but I pulled three muscles trying to start the mower. It's been a long winter."

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."

'Yes, maybe my high metabolism DOES keep me slim.'

'Of course, I sometimes regret the tattoos a bit...'

"Still fat."

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

Fat Cell Metro. Tracks 1-4. Express Line to Hips.

Anorexic flora.