Body Shape Analysts Pillows

Fat Cell Metro. Tracks 1-4. Express Line to Hips.

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Body Building

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Hey, great ab!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"It seems the broadness of your mind and the narrowness of your waist have changed places."

Signs that colas are making you fat. . .

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

'Forget the pills - here, take two of these.'

Door-to-Door Liposuction.

Am I in good shape, Doc? If you think "spherical" is a good shape. (Published originally on January 9, 2014.)

"I liked the scale better before we leveled the floor. It read ten pounds lighter on a slant."

'I take it that when you went on your 'spot reduction' diet, this wasn't what you had in mind?'

'Sorry I had the liposuction machine on blow instead of suck.'

"He needs a 'tummy tuck' so he'll look less like Friar Tuck."

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

'Yes, maybe my high metabolism DOES keep me slim.'

"So have we given up completely on the idea of the full monty?"

'For the elevated blood pressure, exercise and cut down on salt. For the rash, exercise and cut down on salt. For the headaches, exercise and cut down on salt.'

MD-HDTV

"What does 'It looks like you never miss a meal' mean?"

She's gone - you can stop holding it in.

"Dude, time to hit the gym!"