Body Positive Humor Lover Gifts

Broadband developments.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

"Privates Beach"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Breast Height Chart

Keep Fit.

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Aging Problems

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Scales

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Fat fairy

Girl's weight issues.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.