Body Positivity Enthusiast Gifts

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

'Do these wings make my bum look big?'

Out of condition man in front of mirror which makes him look slim.

Woman and scale

'My wife's always happiest talking to someone fatter than she is.'

'Touch my toes? I can't even see them!'

"It's probably a hormonal thing."

'Be honest now. Does this color make me look fat?'

'Frankly... everything makes your butt look big.'

'You need to go on a diet! I need liposuction.'

"I'm the double of Kate Moss, she's 8 stone, I'm 16."

"I am sucking it in!"

'By the way dear - how's your diet going?'

"Isn't it time you packed in that anorexic's diet? For a moment there I thought you were the lampstand!"

'Forget about the male hormone treatments, Doc -- I've decided to keep them.'

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

Size Doesn't Matter! (Sponsored by the small p***s society of America).

'I'll pay you double if you whisper it.'

"Everything goes right to my hips."

"Help, I can't read my weight!"

"Accept that you're a pot bellied pig and give it up with the Spanx already."

"I bet our bums look big in this!"

Real bodies

"I've got pride but no shame."

"I don't give a damn about fashion and slimness mania and I don't care what people say."

"Do I look heavy to you?"

"I don't mind being fat. Harder to kidnap."

'For your height, you're the perfect weight for your wife and yourself.'

Miss Armpits

"I feel like the stripe doesn't flatter my midsection."

"Does this swimsuit make me look fat?"

"People at the pool say I have an hourglass figure!" 'With an extra half hour at the bottom.'

My birthday suit is out of fashion.

Casual Friday at the Nudist Colony. It's nice not having to suck in my stomach for a change.

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."