Body Confidence Warrior Pillows

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

Body Shaming

'Does my bum bag look big in this'

I heart my bum.

"If only legginess were based on circumference."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'I need your honest opinion...does my butt look big enough in this?'

'I'm scared that there's a fat woman outside of me, trying to get in.'

'Now that's more like it.'

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

'A second opinion? -- Are you trying to mess with my self-esteem?'

"Do these stilts make me look thinner."

Celebrating National No Bra Day

'Charlene had never thought of herself as beautiful, but..well...mirrors don't lie.'

'I'm not sure we should get rid of your cellulite -- it may be all that's holding you together.'

'I've found this great app. It locates heavier people I can stand next to, making me appear thinner.'

"Of course you don't look fat."

"You're 30? Me too!"

Hurrah for control pants!