Body Confidence Advocates Pillows

'It's for TV's 'How to look good naked', darling.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Aging Problems

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Girl's weight issues.

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Scales

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Fat fairy

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"I can't have anything that's a food."