Boardroom Analyst Gifts

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"