Boarding Pass Philosopher Gifts

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"Well did he?"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"Think about the honey."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

Boring Board Meeting

'Gentlemen we need more growth.'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

How to create a password you can remember...

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"I'll grip but I won't grin."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."