Boarding Pass Philosopher Gifts

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"Well did he?"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Think about the honey."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

Boring Board Meeting

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Gentlemen we need more growth.'

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

How to create a password you can remember...

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"I'll grip but I won't grin."