Blunt Speaker Gifts

"I was wondering if I could have tomorrow off because you make me sick."

They hated me.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was fine. I just don't like any of you and don't want to be here."

'And in conclusion.'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Solitaire card shark.

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

Justice for a heckler.

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'I'm all in.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

'Which one beats - a straight or a flush?'

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

Geography is still fascinating, thought Bob.

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

I don't know how many times I've told Mahovlich - he's the speaker, not the goalie!

"If he could put a horse up his sleeve, he'd probably win at that too."

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

"How can one sum up Henry's impact on all our lives? Negligible, I guess that'd do it."

"Back when we were in college, and occasionally sleeping together, I never thought I'd be here, toasting you at your wedding to a woman."

"What do four ones beat?"