Solitary Speaker Gifts

'...and so I say without fear of contradiction...'

They hated me.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'And in conclusion.'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'Thoreau had his Walden Pond, C.J. has his water cooler.'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"Delivery."

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

Cable Bill.

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

'What luck!'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

Geography is still fascinating, thought Bob.

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

'It was designed for people who don't want any visitors.'

In The Spring, A Young Man's Thoughts Turn Fancy