Blue Humor Fan Gifts

Did I leave the plunger in the toilet again?

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Trump Poutine

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

A Golden Non-Retriever

Beer Parasol.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

No, I don

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

tRUMp, Pirate President

'More government surveillance!'