Blood Sport Critic Gifts

Number 2, step forward and shout 'TALLY HO!'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Red State Football

Footballer playing for time

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

'Can I see your license,please?'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Then and Now.

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

Bull with gun

Doping

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'On average how many units of blood a week are you drinking, Dracula?'

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

'I agree O-positive is rather nice, but my favourite by far is AB-negative...'

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

'Fishing, Al?! You cancelled our hunting trip to go fishing!! God, it's like I don't even know you anymore!'

'The selectors must be meeting...'

"This part of the match was fixed...errr....sponsered by..."

Novak Djokovic

Marvin preferred the old fashioned way of arguing, before instant replay.

"For God's sake, it's only a game!"