Blood Sport Critic Gifts

Number 2, step forward and shout 'TALLY HO!'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'Can I see your license,please?'

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

Footballer playing for time

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Then and Now.

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

Bull with gun

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Doping

'But now for the good news, Bob. The replay was shown repeatedly on Sports Center.'

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'On average how many units of blood a week are you drinking, Dracula?'

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'

'I agree O-positive is rather nice, but my favourite by far is AB-negative...'

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

'Fishing, Al?! You cancelled our hunting trip to go fishing!! God, it's like I don't even know you anymore!'

'The selectors must be meeting...'

"This part of the match was fixed...errr....sponsered by..."

Novak Djokovic

Marvin preferred the old fashioned way of arguing, before instant replay.

"For God's sake, it's only a game!"