Blockbuster Builder Gifts

"She's been so creative lately."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

God's Subcontractors

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Lego Haircut

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"I'm still pre-literate."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.