Blockbuster Analyst Gifts

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

"She's been so creative lately."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Movies vs. Films

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

Christopher Nolan caricature

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Best Special Effects Award

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

Woke Jersey Shore

Sissy Spacek

Hollywood Think Tank

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

"He's the exception: a fly on the wall who made it big in blockbuster movies."

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

Charts and Graphs Greatest Hits

George Lucas