Blockbuster Buff Gifts

"Your script is fresh, imaginative, innovative, and groundbreaking. Now all you need to do is tweak it into a version of a proven blockbuster or an old TV sitcom and we'd love to green-light it."

Couple look at posters for Carbon Emission Impossible and Carbon Trading Places. Man says: 'Looks like Hollywood has spotted a bandwagon.'

Jaws 3 - The Litigation

Hollywood Studio - 'We can only pay you $20million for your next film - video piracy is killing the film industry.'

Back to The Present - I

Cinemaplex

"Honey, It's Steven and he's talking sequel!"

"That film we were keen on two years ago is coming out."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

George Clooney.

Leonardo DiCaprio

Michael Crichton.

The Directors Gut.

"'Planet of the Easily-Influenced-By-Hype Teens.'"

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

"That film broke all records for keeping that key 16 to 39 year old demographic distracted from reality."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

Director/Action Man toy.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

No-Work Orange