Blind Quester Gifts

"Is that it? I don't have my contacts in."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Crowded Ice Fishing

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

"I think I need an eye check: I almost got fooled by a lure yesterday..."

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Time Travel Research Lab

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

"You're almost there, but as things stand I'm afraid I can't process your invisibility patent."

'I've overcome my fears of personal mortality and the indifference of the Universe, but I'm still a little worried about those skip-tracers.'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'He's close -- he's developed a unified field theory for everything except anchovies.'

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"