Blender Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Now you tell me the blender has a lid!'

"I guess I thought 'Andy and the blenders' was a band."

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

New music conference

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

Mary Berry

Cowpunk

Motor-blender.

Directors Chair and Others.

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

A writer writing humour and tragedy at the same time.

"But it makes you feel like you're right there."

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

A Heavy Metal Musician.

Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator

"I need an editor."

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

Dear Author: Benign way of saying no. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Who's going to carve?"

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

Pulp Science Fiction

Collussus Records. You say your music is influenced by Lawrence Welk and hip hop. What do you call it? "Bubble Rap"!

There was something in her writing for just about anyone.

'Be careful near the jungle jim.'

"It's a dizzying picture of hip hop, trip hop and bee-bop...."