Blender Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Now you tell me the blender has a lid!'

"I guess I thought 'Andy and the blenders' was a band."

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

New music conference

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

Motor-blender.

Cowpunk

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

Directors Chair and Others.

A writer writing humour and tragedy at the same time.

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

"But it makes you feel like you're right there."

Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator

A Heavy Metal Musician.

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

"I need an editor."

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

'I don't 'do' chewing!'

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

Dear Author: Benign way of saying no. Sincerely, The Editors.

There was something in her writing for just about anyone.

"It's a dizzying picture of hip hop, trip hop and bee-bop...."

Pulp Science Fiction

"Dad, since I have an airbrush...maybe I can help make our Christmas cards this year!"