Bleacher Cheering Boss Gifts

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Anderson! On this team we slap hands or slap fannies after someone scores a run. We do not slap faces.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Fan-Centric Stadium

'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

'Time out!'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

Bad Knees.

'Foul ball!!'

"You better send in 'cheerleading'."

Dugout sale!

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

'Nothing yet? Try jigging the lure up and down. Man, you should've been here two days ago. I must have caught and released a dozen pedestrians. My arms are still sore...'

Benchwarmer coach.

American Sports Idol.

'Son, that was just a white lie to get you to come with me ... They don't really hand out 3-D glasses at the ballpark.'

'Heads up!!'

'I told you these were great seats, but there is a downside. If you need to go to the restroom...'

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'

'Pass this down, please.'