Bleacher Cheerleader Gifts

'...Fastball in the noggin? Never affected us...'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Anderson! On this team we slap hands or slap fannies after someone scores a run. We do not slap faces.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

'Time out!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

Stadium usher of the month.

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

Benchwarmer coach.

'...next time you feel like giving that extra 10 percent at work...would you mind giving it to someone else?!...'

American Sports Idol.

Team Spirit Day: "Excuse me... I get a little choked up when I talk about our team."

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

'Son, that was just a white lie to get you to come with me ... They don't really hand out 3-D glasses at the ballpark.'

Players from both teams charge into the seats and grab the belligerent fan.

'Heads up!!'

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'

Fielder being carried away on stretcher, team mate sympathetically says 'Well held, Tony'

Warning: adopt players as role models at your own risk...