Blank Space Explorer Gifts

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Outer Space Outsourcing

Alien David statue

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'But what is the universe for?'

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

Alien Snowmen

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

The flies have landed.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

"It's the dawn of a new era"

The First Martian Dog.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

How did THAT get there? Wash me.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

How am I abducting?

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"