Bland Lifestyle Lover Gifts

La Vie en Beige

Punk Reindeer

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Born to be Mild.

REPENT! Get back to nature

Glyndebourne

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"It's not that casual of a Friday!"

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I'm in no great hurry to evolve."

The Bland Leading the Bland

'No sweat shop'

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

It is what it is. Settle down! Stop being such a worrywart. What's the worst that could happen? Inactivists.

"Accounting has really changed you, Razor-Face."

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

'I've got the iron.'

Crusty Bread

'Slow and hurl.'

"Don't you just want to stop and eat the flowers sometimes?"

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

'It appears she's none of her grandmother's subtlety.'

Meet the author of "The Art of Laziness"

'You have the kind of relaxed, can do manner that we look for in an office manager.'

'I'm a mantis. but not the praying sort.'

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

Summer Road Work

"On the other hand, my weekends are seven days long."