Bland Lifestyle Lover T-Shirts

La Vie en Beige

Punk Reindeer

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Born to be Mild.

REPENT! Get back to nature

Glyndebourne

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

The Bland Leading the Bland

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"It's not that casual of a Friday!"

"I'm in no great hurry to evolve."

'No sweat shop'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

"Don't you just want to stop and eat the flowers sometimes?"

"Accounting has really changed you, Razor-Face."

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

Crusty Bread

'Slow and hurl.'

'I've got the iron.'

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

Meet the author of "The Art of Laziness"

'You have the kind of relaxed, can do manner that we look for in an office manager.'

'It appears she's none of her grandmother's subtlety.'

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

Summer Road Work

'I'm a mantis. but not the praying sort.'

"On the other hand, my weekends are seven days long."

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."