Biscuit Philosophizer T-Shirts

"I live each day in uncertainty, forever skating on the razor edge between cookie and no cookie."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"We met in the biscuit aisle."

Building a gingerbread house

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

"Look, you bake the cookies, I eat them the system works."

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

"Wow, these are good!"

The price or the biscuits?

A complimentary biscuit

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"You're really gonna like these biscuits, there's bacon in them."

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

'Crumbs everywhere!'

Biscuit Factory: Broken Biscuits/Biscuit Counselling Service

'A house is not a home until it contains food.'

The Price or the Biscuits?

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

'The price or the biscuits?'

"Miss Smith - a Cup of tea and a plate of obscenely rich tea biscuits!"

What do you wish for next year?

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'

Eat the Author