Biscuit Enthusiast T-Shirts

'That dog will do anything for a biscuit.'

"How's the new job?"

"Admittedly the evaluation of our effectiveness and impact were pretty pointless, but on the important measure of how we managed the biscuit fund we scored an impressive 98%."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Little Grannies Homebaked Cookies.

"I know! I know! Biscuits! I'm on it!"

Gender neutral gingerbread cookies.

Biscuit Factory: Broken Biscuits/Biscuit Counselling Service

"I think grandmom knows as much as Wikipedia, and you can EAT her cookies."

Dear Mum.

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

'The price or the biscuits?'

Obsessive Compulsive Support Group: 'You check the tea bags, again, I'll check the biscuits, again.'

'Do you want a biscuit?' - 'No, I'm not hungry.' - 'Okay.' - 'Thanks.' - 'Let's try that again, shall we?' - 'Eh?'

"For gods sake Dave, think of your wife and kids...Think of your friends...Think of the two quid you still owe the biscuit fund."

'My Grandmother made them. The specks are liver spots.'

Eat the Author

"I'd rather eat your homework."

Help yourself

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Baking

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

You're the icing on my cupcake!

Husband bakes a pie

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"