Biscuit Enthusiast Gifts

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

'That dog will do anything for a biscuit.'

"How's the new job?"

"Admittedly the evaluation of our effectiveness and impact were pretty pointless, but on the important measure of how we managed the biscuit fund we scored an impressive 98%."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Crumbs everywhere!'

Little Grannies Homebaked Cookies.

"I know! I know! Biscuits! I'm on it!"

Gender neutral gingerbread cookies.

Biscuit Factory: Broken Biscuits/Biscuit Counselling Service

"I think grandmom knows as much as Wikipedia, and you can EAT her cookies."

Dear Mum.

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

'The price or the biscuits?'

Obsessive Compulsive Support Group: 'You check the tea bags, again, I'll check the biscuits, again.'

'Do you want a biscuit?' - 'No, I'm not hungry.' - 'Okay.' - 'Thanks.' - 'Let's try that again, shall we?' - 'Eh?'

Gossip

"For gods sake Dave, think of your wife and kids...Think of your friends...Think of the two quid you still owe the biscuit fund."

'My Grandmother made them. The specks are liver spots.'

Eat the Author

"I'd rather eat your homework."

Help yourself

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Baking

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"