Biscuit Connoisseur Gifts

"Miss Smith - a Cup of tea and a plate of obscenely rich tea biscuits!"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Trail mix?"

His Her Cakes

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

Cake Free Zone

'Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake.'

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Baking

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."