Birthdays Of The Newborn Pillows

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"He likes it."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Feel free to take notes."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

The No No No's

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"When did she start crawling?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Whoa

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

Piano Recital

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"He just said his first word!"

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"