Birthdays Of The Newborn Pillows

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"He likes it."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Feel free to take notes."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

The No No No's

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"When did she start crawling?"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

Piano Recital

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

Downloading Pregnancy

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"He just said his first word!"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'