Birdwatching T-Shirts

"Pass that."

"There's always one annoying piece left over."

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

Hour of rising vs worm acquisition.

"Hold on a second. I have no idea where my ears are."

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

"I'll never be Big Bird."

"I don't know. George got it somewhere."

"You're not going to put that there, are you?"

Coping with ducks

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

Ostrich has head in sand to watch TV set

"Darn, it's another bald-crowned big bellied male."

Bird watchers watch each other's bird.

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

"Sure, dead is important. But it has to taste good."

"Now when I go abroad I tell everyone I'm a Canadian goose."

'I never get tired of watching them.'

"That was funny like a thousand miles ago."

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

"Every generation rebels, dear."

CEO and COO.

"You may approach the bench."

"He's a bird-dog."

"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."

"I hate having my calls monitored."

'Honey, that guy's spying on us again with his binoculars!'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"It's a symbiotic relationship. I feed him seeds and berries, and he pecks out the eyes of my enemies."

"Hey buddy, are you familiar with the term - 'birds of a feather'?"

'Who.' 'Who.' 'Who.' 'Or is it whom?'

'He's texting again.'

'Daddy doesn't know why birds migrate. Ask me about ways to avoid probate.'

'Gee, it's great to be back! I can't wait to go downtown and find a clean car!'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'