Birdwatching With A Twist Pillows

'It appears to be the bird from the cuckoo clock.'

He's useless at DIY."

Chicane

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Vegetarian Birds

"Pass that."

"Great tights!"

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

'Look Dear. The first Robin Hood of spring.'

'Don't you just love that rap music!'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

Chickenspox

"We wanted to replicate their natural habitat, so we built a housing estate."

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

'Thinking quickly, Ernie jerked out his instamatic and clicked away at his farm below.'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'Do you think anyone will notice my funny hat shaped like a fish?'

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

'I hear they're going to cable.'

"I'm a bird dog."

'Without running tests I'd say you're eating too much turkey.'

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

"That bird looks just like your drone."

"Far out Nigel, I know you're a purist, but at some point, you'll need to switch to e-books like the rest of us..."

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

When the breeder sold Steve ‘a great game dog,' he didn't mention that the dog's great game was on-line poker.

"It's five o'clock somewhere."

"Who died?"

Self examination.

Scientist taking air quality reading on roof with canary wearing gas mask.