Birdwatcher's Twist Pillows

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Two vegans, please."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

Bird Torture.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Vegetarian Birds

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Trick or Tweet

Birds Following Witch.

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'