Birdwatching Goof Gifts

Cuckoo Clock Dentistry

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Pointing.

Do you have anything bigger?

Geese's Thoughts.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Two kids watch a duck swim past their window in the rain

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Songbird.

French Early Bird

"I'm in disguise."

'I told you not to bark at geese!'

'That's not a neat trick-he doesn't know how to swim.'

Hazards of mouse painting

"I think he just ashed on me."

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'You'll have to install a ramp, sir -- you're discriminating against disabled birds.'

'Rhea of the Year.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'

Man and bird

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

'It's true: I was hunting with the King himself last week...'

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

'Thanks for keeping my eggs warm Liz... Hope I haven't been too long...'

Evolution...the booted flamingo.

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"Yes, Ma'am, our fish is flown in fresh every day!"