Birdwatching Buff Gifts

'I'm getting old: I can still spot a rabbit a kilometre away, but I can't read the newspaper anymore...'

"Love your work."

"In the interest of fostering diversity, we're abandoning our 'birds of a feather' policy."

'That's right, the red-headed bullfinch. Man, you're really good at this.'

"For goodness sake, Todd, you can't expect me to fly south for the whole winter without bringing a few things!"

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

Pointing.

'Gabrielle! Grace! What did I tell you kids about player soccer in the nest!'

Having spotted an attractive female, Marty makes his move,

I'd like a single room until the hunting season is over.

'No, it's definitely not a Blue Tit - it hasn't got that distinctive yellow breast.'

Do you have anything bigger?

"What's Frank's problem?"

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

Birdwatchers don't notice birds stealing their sandwiches.

'....Regurgitated leftovers again?!'

'My name's Bud, I'm a pigeon and I bomb statues.'

'Rhea of the Year.'

'You'll have to install a ramp, sir -- you're discriminating against disabled birds.'

"Yes, Ma'am, our fish is flown in fresh every day!"

"Maybe it doesn't want to be identified"

Common golf problems - 'Greens are really slow today.'

'And how long have you thought you are a hawk...?'

Man looking for birds has one on his hat.

'That's not a neat trick-he doesn't know how to swim.'

A rare glimpse of the reclusive Tweedy Bird.

'It's true: I was hunting with the King himself last week...'

'This should really freak out the bird watchers.'

Searching for great tits

''And you say you last saw red, red, robin when he was just bob, bob, bobbin' along?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Their house is full of shit and feathers just like the rest of us."

"Nassau was impossible, Barbados was touristy, and you know what Trinidad is like. It wasn't until we reached Brazil. . ."

Birdwatches on a graph