Birdwatching Buff Gifts

'I'm getting old: I can still spot a rabbit a kilometre away, but I can't read the newspaper anymore...'

"Love your work."

"In the interest of fostering diversity, we're abandoning our 'birds of a feather' policy."

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

'That's right, the red-headed bullfinch. Man, you're really good at this.'

"For goodness sake, Todd, you can't expect me to fly south for the whole winter without bringing a few things!"

'Gabrielle! Grace! What did I tell you kids about player soccer in the nest!'

Pointing.

"Maybe it doesn't want to be identified"

'No, it's definitely not a Blue Tit - it hasn't got that distinctive yellow breast.'

Do you have anything bigger?

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

'As soon as the ball reaches the green, I swoop down and steal it: I just love the look on their faces!'

'Rhea of the Year.'

'My name's Bud, I'm a pigeon and I bomb statues.'

'....Regurgitated leftovers again?!'

Man looking for birds has one on his hat.

I'd like a single room until the hunting season is over.

'And how long have you thought you are a hawk...?'

Birdwatchers don't notice birds stealing their sandwiches.

'You'll have to install a ramp, sir -- you're discriminating against disabled birds.'

Common golf problems - 'Greens are really slow today.'

'That's not a neat trick-he doesn't know how to swim.'

"Yes, Ma'am, our fish is flown in fresh every day!"

"What's Frank's problem?"

Superhero and Unexceptionalbird.

Birdwatchers looking at a birdhouse filled with houseplants.

"Nassau was impossible, Barbados was touristy, and you know what Trinidad is like. It wasn't until we reached Brazil. . ."

"Their house is full of shit and feathers just like the rest of us."

"I'm beginning to wonder if we're actually birds of a feather, Larry."

"Oh, look, honey. It's the blue-crested, red-winged, wake-you-up-at-4-bloody-a.m.-every-Sunday bird!"

"What have you done?!"

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Birdwatches on a graph