Birdwatching Benchwarmer Gifts

'They just showed up one day. But the players don't seem to mind...'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Intelligent people laugh too!

"I AM at my usual position."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Two vegans, please."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

Bird Torture.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

Pointing.

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

Do you have anything bigger?

Two kids watch a duck swim past their window in the rain

Birds Following Witch.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Trick or Tweet

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."