Armchair Birdwatcher Gifts

Man in Bird Cage, Reading.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Polly txt speak

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Life is for the birds.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"That's not how I sat on you."

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Knight feeding his kids.

'You know too much!'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

The Worm Charmer

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Pigeon Little

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...