Birdwatching Benchwarmer T-Shirts

'They just showed up one day. But the players don't seem to mind...'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Intelligent people laugh too!

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"I AM at my usual position."

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Two vegans, please."

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Bird Torture.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

Pointing.

Beaver tower

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

Do you have anything bigger?

Trick or Tweet

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Birds Following Witch.

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."