Birdhouse Enthusiast Gifts

'Hello, I'm the city tax appraiser and it has come to our attention that you have added a bird house to your yard.'

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'

A robin building a nest in a discarded box that held a commercially bought bird box

Bates Motel Birdhouse

"Oh look - a Bauhaus Bird Box."

Birds in a birdhouse watching TV.

'Purple Martin Condos'

"This isn't one of those Fannie and Freddie scams, is it?"

Fishing for Birds

Man puts up a birdhouse in a gallery full of wildlife pictures.

Birdhouse: Bank Owned - Foreclosure/Sale.

'You know I don't like saltboxes!'

"Just how long has Murray been retired?"

Woman Rings Birdhouse Doorbell.

'Have you got anything on the ground floor? I'm a sleepwalker.'

A bird house is all that remains of a forest.

'Which species do you think was in there previously?' (Birdwatchers buying a cuckoo clock).

Migratory Bird Decides Not to Migrate.

Bird house envy.

For Sale. And the best part is that this is a very seedy neighborhood!

"Sorry! I was just feeling a bit hypoglycemic, and I forgot to bring a snack with me."

"The crazy thing is it sold for over a million."

"Damn thing's supposed to be attorney-proof."

Pocket Knife Birdhouse Clock

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Trust me, you're not ready!"