Birdbath Connoisseur T-Shirts

Birdbath & Beyond

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Baby Hairstyles.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

Man's rubber duck waits for him to have bath

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

WC problem.

'Don't just stand there, Mum - Your admiral has lost the soap!'

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

Bathing and Showering.

Man in Bath

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

'How are you doing? I've got the frying pan on the cooker!'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'

How to recover from a bad day

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

A giant rubber duck with a human bath toy

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'