Bird Feeder Fans Gifts

"Liberals!"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Yoyo sheep

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Marcel Marceau's parrot

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Pass that."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'