Bird Admirers Gifts

Old lady in wheelchair commenting on pet cochin fowl dressed in human clothes

'I knew he was a big man amoung his people but I had no idea he earned that many feathers.'

Ostrich.

The Ship's Parrot learns how to order dinner

Only one Partridge in a pear tree? Mr. Jones next door gave his true love two partridges.

'You don't have shoulder tendonitis. The bird has just been perched there too long.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Life is for the birds.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Polluted geese

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'You know too much!'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

Knight feeding his kids.

Pigeon Little

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

How about going easy on the carbs

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward