Biology Buffs Gifts

The Dangers of Unlicensed Science Teachers.

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"You could call it cilia. I prefer to think of it as designer stubble."

'Name four animals of the cat family.'

Charles Darwin

"Great, lots of students are fainting: that will teach them!"

"It says here...man is the only creature who is able have sex by phone."

Clone Booth

Spermaid - A spermaid waves to a passing sperm.

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Sex education, Mrs Griffey...Be responsible! Don't foolow in your parents footsteps!

'Eventually I plan to replace it with an artificial limb.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

"I can't live without you Julie"

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"We're slugs—we don't have a creation myth."

"I thought you were studying biology?"

'Near as I can understand, my folks come from Kansas, and the stork brought me.'

F&E Produce. "Eggplant"? I'll never understand biology.

Well, hurry up, then! You should have gone before we evolved.

Eh, you go on ahead

Biolab. No, this is a good thing. Antibodies are not bullies going out and looking to pick a fight.

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"And the winner for the most improved is... Fish with feet!"

Completing the Beast

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Albert Einstein