Biology Buffs Gifts

The Dangers of Unlicensed Science Teachers.

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

"You could call it cilia. I prefer to think of it as designer stubble."

'Name four animals of the cat family.'

Charles Darwin

"Great, lots of students are fainting: that will teach them!"

"It says here...man is the only creature who is able have sex by phone."

Clone Booth

Spermaid - A spermaid waves to a passing sperm.

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Sex education, Mrs Griffey...Be responsible! Don't foolow in your parents footsteps!

'Eventually I plan to replace it with an artificial limb.'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

"I can't live without you Julie"

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"We're slugs—we don't have a creation myth."

'Near as I can understand, my folks come from Kansas, and the stork brought me.'

"And the winner for the most improved is... Fish with feet!"

Completing the Beast

"You're a lot easier to live with once your antlers fall off."

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Apples for sale

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.