Biohacker Gifts

The First Modular Phone Implant Garners Envious Looks Along Fifth Avenue.

'Well, look who has stock in Genomes-R-Us.'

Gadget geek.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Weird things I do because of the internet

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

Wallpapering with Nails

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and added a few gifts. It pays to have computer skills."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'Gimme all your cache!'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Proof of Being Human

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

Does your computer have a webcam? Yes. I've fixed it so no one can spy on me. What a tech genius! A band-aid solution that works!

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

Wikileaks

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

Cyberwarfare

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"