Bin Guardian Gifts

"One lousy incident years ago with the neighbourhood's bins, and ever since, I'm tied up every garbage-night..."

The Zoo.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"Tommy!"

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Just Stop Boil

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Monkey-artist

"Smokey The Tree"

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Evolution.

"Look, it's my word balloon."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Earth stove

There is No Planet C

A baby playing on a grand piano

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.