Billionaire Buffs Gifts

"Mine's bigger."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

CEO with SEO

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Hey, look at me, I'm a space billionaire."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

America's funniest investment scams

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

Origin of the Universe/Big Bang Theory/Big Cowlick Theory

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

"Today we'll explore the origin of the cartoon universe. Also know as the 'Cartooniverse'."

"Any sign of recovery yet?"

Black Hole Exhibit

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"All power to the board of directors!"