Billing Skeptics Pillows

We use all the latest painless procedures, so now a visit only hurts at the end when you get the bill.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"I charge by the grain."

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

"Remember, our do-nothing congress never raised your taxes!"

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"Hey! You overcharged me by $20."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

"Don't worry son, there are no such things as vampires, wish I could say the same about Gordon Brown..."

"The doctor encourages second opinions, but not about his fees."

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"You know very well what subscription forms."

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

'What's this £25 'extra labour'?' - 'That's for the time spent drawing up the bill'.

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

'Oh, you mean that last fee! We just threw that one in to evenly balance the two columns.'

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

My mobile phone bill keeps giving me headaches every time I get the bill!

"Are they really fresh?"

'Why can't we ever live within your income?'

"Why you may identify as a guy who pays his bills. your credit score identifies you as something else."

Throwing Money Away