Billing Skeptics Gifts

We use all the latest painless procedures, so now a visit only hurts at the end when you get the bill.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"I charge by the grain."

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

"Remember, our do-nothing congress never raised your taxes!"

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"Hey! You overcharged me by $20."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

"The doctor encourages second opinions, but not about his fees."

"Don't worry son, there are no such things as vampires, wish I could say the same about Gordon Brown..."

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

"You know very well what subscription forms."

How America Was Re-Won

'What's this £25 'extra labour'?' - 'That's for the time spent drawing up the bill'.

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

TOO MUCH GOVERNMENT

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

"Where do you think you're going, pal? You can't leave your body until you've paid your bill."

'Oh, you mean that last fee! We just threw that one in to evenly balance the two columns.'

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

"Why you may identify as a guy who pays his bills. your credit score identifies you as something else."

My mobile phone bill keeps giving me headaches every time I get the bill!

"Are they really fresh?"

'Why can't we ever live within your income?'