Bill Skeptic Pillows

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Cold caller.

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

Incredible

Russian war crimes

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

Sales company

"I've been expecting this...FAKE WEATHER!"

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

The Good News, the Media Nothwithstanding

I Can't Believe It's Not Fake News

'The market fell today because it needed to fail before it could succeed.'