Committee Skeptic Pillows

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Hanson - committee of four.'

Politicians are from Uranus.

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

"Caption: we work in an office; however, we have dressed for the circus. What a humorous mixup."

Turnkey Totalitarianism

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

"I suppose the first thing to do is form an escape committee."

"Motion denied then"

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

'I think we should form a committee to look into this 'individual initiative' thing.'

"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

"What do the know!"

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

'Okay - Who built this site?'

Nothing to Lose But Our Knees

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

QANON PROUD BOY

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

'Hi - I'm from the Government, and I'm here to implant this little chip in your brain.'

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

'It's probably just a weather balloon.'